From Broken to Beautiful

Hello my queens! 

It is currently 11:18 PM, which is pretty late for me, as I type whatever it is that flows to my mind. I can't help but sit at a blank screen without even knowing where to begin. Life has become so incredibly busy I almost forgot how therapeutic it is to sit and write. I pray that the words that come to me are from the Lord and that they will impact the hearts of those who need to hear it. 

Let me start out by saying that I had no idea when I asked God this morning to break my heart for what breaks His that He would really hand it to me. My heart is broken from the stories I heard from some sweet friends and family today. From loss to anxiety, to sickness, to hurt, to uncertainty, to insecurity, to loneliness and to anger I am left feeling completely and utterly broken. After taking in these stories the most I can sit here and do is feel thankful for being in the midst of grace like an avalanche and pray. 

I pray for the friend that is in the midst of a health crisis, uncertain about what they will do as they expect God to work a miracle in their life. I pray for the friend that is dealing with family problems, and the hurt and burden that she is facing as she steps in and takes on a larger role than she should have to. I pray for the friend who just had to deal with a loss and is feeling lonely and angry. I also pray for the friend who is stuck in the midst of uncertainty about their life & insecure on starting a new beginning that could ultimately be life changing for them. Lastly, I pray for the friend that is allowing anxiety to consume her about her future because she is not happy with where she is currently at. 

I read and re-read these prayers and I begin to feel angry that all of these things could be going on to these sweet women in my life. I am reminded of where these feelings come from that they are not from God. God tells us that he is the Almighty Healer, the Great Connector, the Ultimate Comforter, the Prince of Peace and THE Way, Truth & Light. Notice that it doesn't say "A way…" but "THE way…" He wants to comfort us through the hard times and celebrate with us through the big wins. He has the plan already figured out, we just have to trust Him through the season in order to be launched into something greater. After all, storms make trees take deeper roots.

My prayer for you is that if you are reading this feeling any of these emotions or even something different, that you will stand firm on the rock that is higher than we are. You will know that you are the daughter of the highest King and you are not to be messed with! Also, I hope you learned that our morning car prayers should be taken very seriously and if we ask God to do something big that day he really will!

Continuing to pray and believe that the best is yet to come,

happy d e c e m b e r

Yes, December. 

It is here,

am I prepared?

Not at all. 

I just want to 

keep something 

in mind for these 

next 31 days...

 

As we prepare to

usher in a brand spanking

new year,

lets not get so caught

up in what is on 

display in other peoples

windows.

Comparison is a thief that 

robs you of what is 

right under your nose.

Be aware of and

thankful for each

good thing, trust me

you will never run 

out of things to

be grateful for.

This can be a hard 

time of year for many.

Reach out, love on them.

If you find yourself

overdrawn and unfulfilled,

reach out and love on someone

else.

I know its hard,

but getting stuck in "it"

will only pull you

further from the joy 

you crave.

Lets be different.

Lets be happy with what

we already have, 

so that anything

above or beyond that 

truly feels like

the blessing that

it is. 

Sandpiper Searching

Long time no type babes! 
Life has been eventful in both great and terrible ways.

This morning I woke up to altered weekend plans, I woke up confused and humbled by my own nativity. 
I woke up single. . . again.
So, where did the day take me?
Where the sand meets the sea and where salt water heals the broken. 
I maybe yelled at God a little bit, cried just a teensy bit, and let go of a lot. Ultimately, I asked God for a word or phrase or SOMETHING that I could climb out of this rut with. 

I didn't hear an audible voice but my eyes were drawn to the tiny birds that run back and forth between the breaking waves searching desperately for nourishment. I watched them and I thought about how i've been running myself ragged trying to fill my own voids. That was it, that was the revelation I asked for and it is as simple as this:

"When God has something or someone truly good for you, you are not going to have to keep running into the deep to seek and dig it out yourself. He will bring it/them to you."

Don't be the Sandpiper. 

Let it be. 

He will provide. 

I was also reminded of something my friend Mango wrote about a few months ago:

“You can so easily build a knight in shining armor out of a man made of straw.”

Do not over promise, do not compromise and do not date on someones POTENTIAL. People will show you who they are, don't ignore the little things that make your heart drop a bit or your stomach clench. Trust your instincts, but also realize that there is no perfect man. 

That is a lot to keep in mind but only because dating is such a convoluted game these days. I wish I could go back, clear the record and just wait on God's timing. I can do that going forward but I can't go back and gather up the pieces of me that I gave to all those men boys of straw. Those are precious pieces and you should protect them, your knight in shining armor will care about those pieces enough to protect them. 

In the meantime, (try to) enjoy being single, get to know yourself really well and go on some rad adventures. You have the rest of your life to be somebodies somebody, today just be  your own person. Have fun. You don't have to be lonely though you are alone for this season. 

Tootles for now!

Peter Pans and Magnolia Farms

With a title like that I was scratching my head too, but I think i'll be able to tie it in a nice little bow for y'all. 

Sorry, i've been hooked on Fixer Upper while intermittently running down to the laundry mat to tend to the linens or whatever. 

So anyway ladies, I'm going to talk about some un-fun stuff, also about the "ultimate dream" and what it looks like to bridge that gap. Anyone who knows me, can pretty much tell that I've not had much success with the ol' L word, L O V E.  Maybe I have a light up sign on my forehead advertising that I really-enjoy-being-treated-badly or maybe I just like people with problems, I don't know. Either way, not good. 

The past is the past right? 

Yeah, but I keep finding them and somehow it manages to surprise and devestate me each time that they turn out to be peter-pans. 

I don't know about you, but I am really freaking tired of keeping quiet and being a doormat for THOSE types of guys to tread on. I mean, what a waste of time and dreams, in each situation there have been some good memories - ish, but more so there was lot of slashing into my confidence, trust and heart leaving scars that feel a mile wide some days. I'm foolish but I'm hopeful too. Despite the past, that I have to accept is mine, I almost always believe that people can change. They don't, not those type of people. They see nothing wrong with how they treat others and rarely admit fault. 

I am grateful to have people in my life that force me to see what is really there and not romanticize it. I'm a dreamer with a stubborn soul, I don't like to let go and I really hate being wrong about someone. But I was wayyyyy wrong recently. 

Babes, just please don't settle. Don't try to make an excuse for someone who is selfish enough to put you down like its a sport, someone who feels it necessary to read you the ingredients off of the dang spray butter bottle, or doesn't think to include you in their plans for the future, when you would have moved your life for them. Just don't. 

What should one do when they don't have a template for what is worth waiting for? 

Short answer: watch Fixer Upper with Chip and Joanna Gaines all day on HGTV.

 

#RelationshipGoals

Longer answer: fall for yourself first - you have to know your worth to know that you deserve better. 

I can tell that i'm in a slightly better place than I was last year because I down right couldn't stand how I was being manipulated /treated last weekend, so I did the hard thing and had a heartbreaking conversation - at least for me, because I had invested too much. 

It was also a major step to be able to be so vulnerable, but it got little ridiculous with the tears. . . just picture Splash Mountain on a 24 hour cycle. 

After you stand up for yourself and cut off dead branches, you have to connect with your savior - only He can fill the gap that you are asking a human man to. Write a list and be VERY specific about what you want in a man, God already knows but He likes to grow us which means digging deep and being honest.  

Next step, STOP COMPARING.

For whatever reason this is the journey that you are on and for right now they best way for you navigate it is alone. Someday it will all make sense. 

Once you have your template it won't be so hard to see who stacks up and who wouldn't make the cut if they were a zillionaire or not. 

The results of how I spent my lazy Saturday = my couch now has an Aly shaped indent and I want to buy an old ranch in Waco, Texas just to have fixer upper come by to hang out and um, fix it up. 

Books that I would recommend:

I Don't Wait Anymore - Grace Thornton

Wild and Free - Jess Connolly and Haley Morgan

Scary Close - Don Miller

Also, I've been reading a lot of Job - trust me, whatever man problems/anything else that you boss babes might be facing. . .it could be so much worse! haha.

Have a happy 4th of July weekend lovies!

Our Best or God's Best?

"And everyday, let me be like a sunflower; so that even on the darkest days I will stand tall and find the sunlight."

Hey babe risers, it's been a while since I last chatted with you all. To catch you up, life has been filled with new things it's almost been hard to keep up. I finished esthetics school, got my license and officially started taking clients at the salon. I'm so grateful to make an impact on people not only physically with their skin but also their hearts. My career path as an esthetician is so much more than making someone who is 60 look like they're 20 (we wish). It's about conditioning the heart and soul, loving on others and making them feel undeniably beautiful to themselves. Since high school, I felt a tug on my heart to go into full time ministry. In my mind, that meant working for "the big C" aka: church. Throughout this past year I have patiently learned that your full time ministry is your life wherever you are, and you can bring that into your work place. I am fully handing this business over to God and asking him to stretch me everyday. I ask Him to give me opportunities to speak life into people and to give them a purpose so much greater than the things of the world they are seeking. I cannot wait to step deeper into this ministry and see all that God has in store.

I really want to speak to you tonight about something personal. Something that I feel I wouldn't normally shout to the world but I'm in a mood to be transparent so here it goes. 

R E J E C T I O N

"Rejection doesn't mean you aren't good enough; it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer."

We're all ladies here, so I am sure we've all felt those nights of rejection. Where you get dressed in that glorious outfit you've been waiting wear, hair is on point and your make-up is actually looking decent, only to arrive to find out you've been rejected. Rejection and abandonment has to stand high up there on the top 10 horrible feelings someone can feel.

Since leaving my job at Chick-fil-A the Lord put me on this crazy journey of finding and bettering myself every day. Part of that has been to overcome the rejection and abandonment issues that I felt from my biological dad not being a part of my life for the last 21 years. I believe that in the society that we live in today we deal with rejection on a daily basis, probably more than 100 times a day. You don't have to have abandonment in your life to say you suffer with rejection. We reject ourselves when we watch the Kardashians and see the ideal body society wants us to have, we reject ourselves when we post on Instagram and don't get as many likes as you did the day before, we feel rejected when our friend is having an off day and they don't send us their normal happy text. We feel rejection daily. 

So many emotions have been going on throughout my life recently and through my fellow boss babe risers lives. I hear stories and my heart just aches for what my sisters are going through. This very recent story (not to be shared for the secrecy of my girlfriend) made me reflect on myself on a-whole-nother level. I sat there and felt totally rejected because of thoughts the enemy placed into my mind. Things like, "you're really just not good enough for him", "you know, he's pursuing that other girl that he really likes spending time with" "maybe marriage just isn't in the books for you" or the best one yet "why would you even begin to think he would like someone like you?" So there I sat in my car, realizing it was a while back that I cried that hard, talking on the phone with a beautiful and sweet, sweet friend that told me it was okay to let it out and it hit me…I am NOT the one being rejected in this.

Let me explain myself a little better. I don't know about you but if I think for even one second that someone I like doesn't want to spend time with me or maybe isn't showing the same level of flirtation I count that as an immediate rejection. PAUSE. That's a lie. I had to stop and realize the reality, that I am making a conscious decision that at this moment he is not the right person for me. It's not rejection it's a decision. A decision to move on and be better. Focus on my path and my relationship with God and wait for the best He has to give me. Ladies that is what we will hold out for…God’s BEST. 

Let me send out a little reminder to you who may be hurting like I was tonight. Hurt, Pain, Anger, Temptation, Rejection and Abandonment all come from the enemy himself. He comes to steal, kill and destroy our lives while our God comes to bring us life and life to it's fullest. Whenever you think you're being rejected from something (we think is) good, remember that you could be redirected to something so much better. God makes beautiful things out of our mistakes. I am a living testimony to that.  Do not let the enemy feed you the thoughts and lies that you're not good enough. We are women warriors that will tell the enemy to put his nose in a corner because we are NOT having it today. We are holding out for God's best. If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value. Stand firm in knowing your worth in Christ. Trust and be obedient and all other things will fall into place.

“We are wild and free, we are never too much and we are ALWAYS enough.”

Thanks for allowing me to be open, honest and transparent with you. I pray that this post will help you realize your worth and all that you deserve. 

Until next time lady loves,

Battlefield

Hey beautiful, what are you battling today?

I could start listing common things that women of all ages have to combat on the daily, but every other blog does that. Besides, you're already familiar with what pulls on your heart strings. I don't need to know the details hidden in the lies that the enemy likes to whisper when we are most vulnerable.

I'm here to give you something to fight back with.

I don't know if you have seen the movie War Room or not, but there is a powerful scene where a wife and mother walks through her grieving home and renounces the devil. She tells him that he can't have her joy, her husband or their home. I definitely had goosebumps. I thought about the areas of my life that needed a little devil denial, I didn't really want to talk to him but even more I didn't want him to have a foothold. I am a child of God, my mission is to lead with love and shine a light, so yeah, shaking off the darkness is necessary.

Keep fighting for joy and peace. Here are some things I would suggest, because we are never alone in this struggle to find light beckoning from the end of the tunnel:

1. Make a prayer board/journal/corner/war room.

I went with a prayer board because I felt like being fancy but you can do this however your creative genius wants to. I hung it so that its the first thing that I see in the morning and the last at night. In my prayer life I tend to wander or just pray when I remember to or *gasp* sometimes I only remember when I need something - don't judge no one is perfect lol. 

I want to be more intentional with my prayer life, I'm not exactly warrior status yet but it will be hard to not pray with this beautiful thing in my face morning and night. 

Prayer, especially prayers of thanksgiving keep us in the proper position and head space. 

2. Cultivate some meaningful friendships.

Do you have girlfriends that hold nothing back/you accountable/some pretty great memories?

If not, its time that you do.

These soul friends are one of life's greatest blessings.  

These are your God-given sisters, celebrate the good stuff often, be ready for eye squinting laughter and lend your shoulder or ear whenever needed.  Call out and pour into their lives as God leads you to and have them do the same for you.  If you are ever feeling like you aren't enough surely they will be there to remind you that you are a daughter of the most high king, your worth and potential are endless.

3. Stop buying into what the world is {desperately} trying to sell you. 

Opt out of magazine subscriptions that make you feel like you'll never attain what is on the cover, unfollow accounts that cause you to envy or compare, let go those that hurt you emotionally or physically, turn off tv shows that promote cloning every one to be exactly the same or make you feel like less, turn down (for what?!) music that is degrading. 

(Just think of all the time and money you'll save! Haha)

4. Jam out to some feel good music! 

It's totally ok to show off those goofy-two-left-feet dance moves you've got. 

#nojudgement 

When I need inner peace and need to regain my bearings on what actually matters in life, it helps a whole lot to tune out and only listen to the voices that echo love and support rooted in truth.

You can do this, and you don't have to buy a pill or powder or subscribe to a program to do it.

Start small. Figure out what sets you apart, remind yourself as often as need be that you are lovely, and talented and really good at winning charade games. Or just whatever it is that you like about you,  don't be passive in protecting it. 

Find a way to implement the 4 things I listed above and you will be gaining battlegrounds left and right, winning, it's hard, but you were made for this. 

Happy Weekend Boss Babes, 

Are you mad AT or mad FOR your Maker?

Do you want to hear something legitimately silly?

Sometimes, I get mad at God, like ball up your fists and 'pout or shout' about it mad. 

From His heavenly view, it must be hilarious to watch this freaking ant-sized girl full of sass and regret, stomping around trying to negotiate acts of faith for tangible wishes granted. 

Those of you who are enduring a season of waiting will recognize the exasperation of there not being a clear answer or end to the "whens" and "whys".  I heard one of those statistics the other day about how much of our lives we spend washing laundry, grocery shopping and on the toilet and I just started to wonder about other ways in which I, personally, am wasting my one trip around the sun. 

One obvious thing stuck out.

The shear amount of time I spend praying, wishing, dreaming, begging, picturing, writing, and thinking about how much I don't want to be alone anymore. About wishing that prince in shining armor would just ride up in his white mustang already. . . it's exhausting. I don't know if I've ever wanted anything as much as I want to be with that forever person. 

It hasn't been an easy journey to try and find him. 

Settle down RyGos. . .

So far I thought that I found "him" 5 times, my track record sucks but, I guess, Ryan Gosling was never really an option, haha.

Growing up I was pretty naive and pumped up on Nicholas Sparks novels, I thought life consisted of reaching a certain age, finding your person, getting married, having a family and then growing old while your brood doubled or tripled in size. I thought that was the whole point, I was sure that God had hand selected one person for each of us and the biggest challenge I would face would be figuring out which guy that I grew up with, would be at the end of the aisle. I never considered just how much could go wrong during that pursuit. I didn't entertain notions of divorce, waiting, infertility, long periods of singleness while everyone else you know seems to be drinking the engagement water or sending out birth announcements. I never knew how bitter I could be or that I would blame God for forgetting about me. But I did. 

Judge me if you must but, who else could possibly be to blame. . . ? 

Me? 

Don't be cray cray.

Many times I've repeated Jeremiah 29:11 to friends that needed encouragement along their own journeys, but the promise was lost on me because I couldn't see it in my present situation. 

Ladies, if you are waiting on that miracle man, baby or whatever else might be near/dear to your heart, it is not God's fault that we don't have what we think we need, desperately want, or feel we might deserve. We have to stop comparing our lives to those of the ones we envy on social media.

Let's not focus on what we don't have, lets take stock of the blessings we do have and look forward to what might someday be, with excitement - without robbing us of the here and now. 

Your life is not "paused" because you are waiting. There was/is a bend in your path to give you the opportunity to experience something that not all get the opportunity to. If you can not muster Queen-Bey-like contentment and confidence, if, instead you struggle with singleness like myself, use this time of un-distractedness to redirect your focus, be purposeful. Practice being happier than you feel and kinder than you're inclined to. Learn to love yourself. Thank God for this time to bind your heart to His before He places it in the hands of the man who is worthy of it. 

Trust me, settling is an awful, broken thing straight from hell.

Babes, I'm preaching to myself here too,  I want to be expectant of great things.

I want to be intentional with this time and not wish away my 20's, Lord knows they are flying by fast enough as is!

Daniel 3:18

Just know that when relatives or older people or sometimes even your peers, make comments that hurt and remind you of what you don't have. . .they haven't walked a mile in your bada** boots, they haven't lived through what you have. Things were different for them and God bless em, good for them! You are not "less" simply because you aren't in their position. You are enough and your life matters just as much. 

You aren't forgotten darling, 

He is holding you a little closer right now to prepare you for the blessings headed your way! 

Praise hand up, thats worth getting excited about!