Our Best or God's Best?

"And everyday, let me be like a sunflower; so that even on the darkest days I will stand tall and find the sunlight."

Hey babe risers, it's been a while since I last chatted with you all. To catch you up, life has been filled with new things it's almost been hard to keep up. I finished esthetics school, got my license and officially started taking clients at the salon. I'm so grateful to make an impact on people not only physically with their skin but also their hearts. My career path as an esthetician is so much more than making someone who is 60 look like they're 20 (we wish). It's about conditioning the heart and soul, loving on others and making them feel undeniably beautiful to themselves. Since high school, I felt a tug on my heart to go into full time ministry. In my mind, that meant working for "the big C" aka: church. Throughout this past year I have patiently learned that your full time ministry is your life wherever you are, and you can bring that into your work place. I am fully handing this business over to God and asking him to stretch me everyday. I ask Him to give me opportunities to speak life into people and to give them a purpose so much greater than the things of the world they are seeking. I cannot wait to step deeper into this ministry and see all that God has in store.

I really want to speak to you tonight about something personal. Something that I feel I wouldn't normally shout to the world but I'm in a mood to be transparent so here it goes. 

R E J E C T I O N

"Rejection doesn't mean you aren't good enough; it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer."

We're all ladies here, so I am sure we've all felt those nights of rejection. Where you get dressed in that glorious outfit you've been waiting wear, hair is on point and your make-up is actually looking decent, only to arrive to find out you've been rejected. Rejection and abandonment has to stand high up there on the top 10 horrible feelings someone can feel.

Since leaving my job at Chick-fil-A the Lord put me on this crazy journey of finding and bettering myself every day. Part of that has been to overcome the rejection and abandonment issues that I felt from my biological dad not being a part of my life for the last 21 years. I believe that in the society that we live in today we deal with rejection on a daily basis, probably more than 100 times a day. You don't have to have abandonment in your life to say you suffer with rejection. We reject ourselves when we watch the Kardashians and see the ideal body society wants us to have, we reject ourselves when we post on Instagram and don't get as many likes as you did the day before, we feel rejected when our friend is having an off day and they don't send us their normal happy text. We feel rejection daily. 

So many emotions have been going on throughout my life recently and through my fellow boss babe risers lives. I hear stories and my heart just aches for what my sisters are going through. This very recent story (not to be shared for the secrecy of my girlfriend) made me reflect on myself on a-whole-nother level. I sat there and felt totally rejected because of thoughts the enemy placed into my mind. Things like, "you're really just not good enough for him", "you know, he's pursuing that other girl that he really likes spending time with" "maybe marriage just isn't in the books for you" or the best one yet "why would you even begin to think he would like someone like you?" So there I sat in my car, realizing it was a while back that I cried that hard, talking on the phone with a beautiful and sweet, sweet friend that told me it was okay to let it out and it hit me…I am NOT the one being rejected in this.

Let me explain myself a little better. I don't know about you but if I think for even one second that someone I like doesn't want to spend time with me or maybe isn't showing the same level of flirtation I count that as an immediate rejection. PAUSE. That's a lie. I had to stop and realize the reality, that I am making a conscious decision that at this moment he is not the right person for me. It's not rejection it's a decision. A decision to move on and be better. Focus on my path and my relationship with God and wait for the best He has to give me. Ladies that is what we will hold out for…God’s BEST. 

Let me send out a little reminder to you who may be hurting like I was tonight. Hurt, Pain, Anger, Temptation, Rejection and Abandonment all come from the enemy himself. He comes to steal, kill and destroy our lives while our God comes to bring us life and life to it's fullest. Whenever you think you're being rejected from something (we think is) good, remember that you could be redirected to something so much better. God makes beautiful things out of our mistakes. I am a living testimony to that.  Do not let the enemy feed you the thoughts and lies that you're not good enough. We are women warriors that will tell the enemy to put his nose in a corner because we are NOT having it today. We are holding out for God's best. If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value. Stand firm in knowing your worth in Christ. Trust and be obedient and all other things will fall into place.

“We are wild and free, we are never too much and we are ALWAYS enough.”

Thanks for allowing me to be open, honest and transparent with you. I pray that this post will help you realize your worth and all that you deserve. 

Until next time lady loves,

Battlefield

Hey beautiful, what are you battling today?

I could start listing common things that women of all ages have to combat on the daily, but every other blog does that. Besides, you're already familiar with what pulls on your heart strings. I don't need to know the details hidden in the lies that the enemy likes to whisper when we are most vulnerable.

I'm here to give you something to fight back with.

I don't know if you have seen the movie War Room or not, but there is a powerful scene where a wife and mother walks through her grieving home and renounces the devil. She tells him that he can't have her joy, her husband or their home. I definitely had goosebumps. I thought about the areas of my life that needed a little devil denial, I didn't really want to talk to him but even more I didn't want him to have a foothold. I am a child of God, my mission is to lead with love and shine a light, so yeah, shaking off the darkness is necessary.

Keep fighting for joy and peace. Here are some things I would suggest, because we are never alone in this struggle to find light beckoning from the end of the tunnel:

1. Make a prayer board/journal/corner/war room.

I went with a prayer board because I felt like being fancy but you can do this however your creative genius wants to. I hung it so that its the first thing that I see in the morning and the last at night. In my prayer life I tend to wander or just pray when I remember to or *gasp* sometimes I only remember when I need something - don't judge no one is perfect lol. 

I want to be more intentional with my prayer life, I'm not exactly warrior status yet but it will be hard to not pray with this beautiful thing in my face morning and night. 

Prayer, especially prayers of thanksgiving keep us in the proper position and head space. 

2. Cultivate some meaningful friendships.

Do you have girlfriends that hold nothing back/you accountable/some pretty great memories?

If not, its time that you do.

These soul friends are one of life's greatest blessings.  

These are your God-given sisters, celebrate the good stuff often, be ready for eye squinting laughter and lend your shoulder or ear whenever needed.  Call out and pour into their lives as God leads you to and have them do the same for you.  If you are ever feeling like you aren't enough surely they will be there to remind you that you are a daughter of the most high king, your worth and potential are endless.

3. Stop buying into what the world is {desperately} trying to sell you. 

Opt out of magazine subscriptions that make you feel like you'll never attain what is on the cover, unfollow accounts that cause you to envy or compare, let go those that hurt you emotionally or physically, turn off tv shows that promote cloning every one to be exactly the same or make you feel like less, turn down (for what?!) music that is degrading. 

(Just think of all the time and money you'll save! Haha)

4. Jam out to some feel good music! 

It's totally ok to show off those goofy-two-left-feet dance moves you've got. 

#nojudgement 

When I need inner peace and need to regain my bearings on what actually matters in life, it helps a whole lot to tune out and only listen to the voices that echo love and support rooted in truth.

You can do this, and you don't have to buy a pill or powder or subscribe to a program to do it.

Start small. Figure out what sets you apart, remind yourself as often as need be that you are lovely, and talented and really good at winning charade games. Or just whatever it is that you like about you,  don't be passive in protecting it. 

Find a way to implement the 4 things I listed above and you will be gaining battlegrounds left and right, winning, it's hard, but you were made for this. 

Happy Weekend Boss Babes, 

Are you mad AT or mad FOR your Maker?

Do you want to hear something legitimately silly?

Sometimes, I get mad at God, like ball up your fists and 'pout or shout' about it mad. 

From His heavenly view, it must be hilarious to watch this freaking ant-sized girl full of sass and regret, stomping around trying to negotiate acts of faith for tangible wishes granted. 

Those of you who are enduring a season of waiting will recognize the exasperation of there not being a clear answer or end to the "whens" and "whys".  I heard one of those statistics the other day about how much of our lives we spend washing laundry, grocery shopping and on the toilet and I just started to wonder about other ways in which I, personally, am wasting my one trip around the sun. 

One obvious thing stuck out.

The shear amount of time I spend praying, wishing, dreaming, begging, picturing, writing, and thinking about how much I don't want to be alone anymore. About wishing that prince in shining armor would just ride up in his white mustang already. . . it's exhausting. I don't know if I've ever wanted anything as much as I want to be with that forever person. 

It hasn't been an easy journey to try and find him. 

Settle down RyGos. . .

So far I thought that I found "him" 5 times, my track record sucks but, I guess, Ryan Gosling was never really an option, haha.

Growing up I was pretty naive and pumped up on Nicholas Sparks novels, I thought life consisted of reaching a certain age, finding your person, getting married, having a family and then growing old while your brood doubled or tripled in size. I thought that was the whole point, I was sure that God had hand selected one person for each of us and the biggest challenge I would face would be figuring out which guy that I grew up with, would be at the end of the aisle. I never considered just how much could go wrong during that pursuit. I didn't entertain notions of divorce, waiting, infertility, long periods of singleness while everyone else you know seems to be drinking the engagement water or sending out birth announcements. I never knew how bitter I could be or that I would blame God for forgetting about me. But I did. 

Judge me if you must but, who else could possibly be to blame. . . ? 

Me? 

Don't be cray cray.

Many times I've repeated Jeremiah 29:11 to friends that needed encouragement along their own journeys, but the promise was lost on me because I couldn't see it in my present situation. 

Ladies, if you are waiting on that miracle man, baby or whatever else might be near/dear to your heart, it is not God's fault that we don't have what we think we need, desperately want, or feel we might deserve. We have to stop comparing our lives to those of the ones we envy on social media.

Let's not focus on what we don't have, lets take stock of the blessings we do have and look forward to what might someday be, with excitement - without robbing us of the here and now. 

Your life is not "paused" because you are waiting. There was/is a bend in your path to give you the opportunity to experience something that not all get the opportunity to. If you can not muster Queen-Bey-like contentment and confidence, if, instead you struggle with singleness like myself, use this time of un-distractedness to redirect your focus, be purposeful. Practice being happier than you feel and kinder than you're inclined to. Learn to love yourself. Thank God for this time to bind your heart to His before He places it in the hands of the man who is worthy of it. 

Trust me, settling is an awful, broken thing straight from hell.

Babes, I'm preaching to myself here too,  I want to be expectant of great things.

I want to be intentional with this time and not wish away my 20's, Lord knows they are flying by fast enough as is!

Daniel 3:18

Just know that when relatives or older people or sometimes even your peers, make comments that hurt and remind you of what you don't have. . .they haven't walked a mile in your bada** boots, they haven't lived through what you have. Things were different for them and God bless em, good for them! You are not "less" simply because you aren't in their position. You are enough and your life matters just as much. 

You aren't forgotten darling, 

He is holding you a little closer right now to prepare you for the blessings headed your way! 

Praise hand up, thats worth getting excited about!

Yeezy or Richy

My fellow ladyloves!

So here I am, staring at a blank screen questioning how in the world to start my first ever blog post. Part of me, as exciting as it is, has been avoiding it. There are so many things I want to share, but have yet to figure out how to put it into words. So here I am, staring at a now not-so-blank screen, writing to the beautiful and worthy babes (and maybe dudes) that are willing to read.

Allow me to introduce myself.

My name is Morgan but if you are rad enough, you might get to call me Mango. I like Chick-fil-A sauce, laying down on the beach (because who really enjoys long walks?) and Jesus (but not in that order). I grew up in sunny SoFlo with my one of a kind best friend who worked incredibly hard as a single working momma. I have recently embarked on this amazing journey of living on my own, starting a new job that has lead into furthering my education and building my future career. To say the least, it’s been a learning curve in so many ways. That’s just the skinny, but I’m sure we’ll find ways to divulge more things about me as this blog post goes on :)

Last night, I had dinner with a friend who took her sweet time to pour into me. I wish I could stress to you enough how beautiful it is to have a mentor in your life. She celebrates me in my big moments, encourages me in my down moments and ultimately reminds me of the Lord’s promises. Let me just say, last night’s conversations were not ordinary. We often speak on relationships because that seems to be the center of focus for me at this ripe old age of twenty-two (says Taylor Swift). She shared a quote with me that could not have slapped me harder in the face than a whiff of that freshly opened bottle of jalapeño salsa. Yes we were eating tacos. Are you ready? Here it is...

“You can so easily build a knight in shining armor out of a man made of straw.”

BOOM.

Let that sink in…

I look back on so many “relationships” in my past and think, how many men made of straw did I throw a little spray paint on and hand an armor and a sword and say “Yeah, that’s good enough”? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why don’t we realize that we are SO worthy of the man that God hand selected for us even if it means waiting longer than intended? Why don’t we understand that we are MORE than enough? We are daughters of the HIGHEST King. We deserve it. We are worthy. Many times our past comes back to haunt us whether it is seeing divorce as a child or going through one as an adult. Sometimes it's the lack of a parent while growing up, bullies throughout high school or some rotten boy who said you weren't good enough or said you were less than beautiful. Making poor decisions and allowing the guilt that the enemy throws at us can separate us from God as well. Yes, many of times those things impact us in the moment but God's plan is so much bigger than those past mistakes. 

"Let the ruins come to life
 in the beauty of Your Name
 rising up from the ashes
God forever You reign.
And my soul will find refuge
In the shadow of your wings
I will love you forever
And forever I'll sing."

So my rising-girls let this be a testimony to us. Do not settle for the man of straw especially if that scarecrow does not love you the way Jesus loves His bride. Choosing the scarecrow over the long awaited knight in shining armor is like picking Kanye over Rich Wilkerson Jr. If you don't know who either of them are, skip looking up Yeezy and go straight for Richy, but be prepared to swoon because yes he loves Jesus.
Ladies, hold out for your Wilkerson!!!

Hell NO…                          …Heaven YES


My friend/mentor shared a few titles for me to read as I go through this new stage in life. Now even though I’m not the best reader, I hope you are as encouraged as I am to read these along with me…

§  The New Rules of Sex, Love & Dating by Andy Stanley (Yes, Alyssa I will finish it!)

§  The Sacred Search by Gary Thomas

§  Boundaries in Dating, Safe People, Integrity & Never Go Back all by Henry Cloud

Until next time my ladyloves,

#PrayingForTricia

For someone who usually has so much to say, Tricia Todd's disappearance leaves me without much more than this.

This world has faced some pretty dark days, especially in the last year or so - or maybe I just finally noticed how broken we are, either way hashtags like #PrayforSyria, #PrayforParis,  #PrayforBrussels, #PrayforAmerica, etc are popping up everywhere and all the more frequently. 

Daily, I see missing persons or Amber alert posts being shared on social media, I saw it but it never affected me directly, so I didn't think much of it. 

All of those people are no less important than Tricia, but I grew up with her, I photographed her dancing with her daughter at a wedding last summer and have run into her around town. She is real. She is missing and because of her I will never look at another missing flyer, amber alert text or news report the same way. 

Bad things don't just happen to people who are in far off places, sometimes they happen in your own backyard to good people that you wish you knew better. 

My heart has been heavy for Tricia's family and especially her little girl since last week. 

I've been praying for her as often as I remember to, there was a beautiful gathering on Sunday with people from all over this community lifting up our voices, praying to the only One who knows where Tricia is right now. 

The candles burned out but the passion to bring her home has not wavered.

Last night I went to a worship service at church, I usually worship pretty freely (when i'm not worrying if my possible future hubby is staring me down, haha) but last night was different. 

I was singing but I was also praying and weeping; my thoughts were of Tricia because while we sang about God being our refuge and strength, I felt a sense of peace in knowing that He was keeping her in the shadow of His wings, protecting His child.

Only He can bring the ruins back to life, only He can protect her while Martin County is doing their best to find her. My heart is so sad but also so full, this community of people that have come together to search, support and to spread the word, have restored my faith in humanity.

We can take care of each other, we can come together for justice and do good things.

Its in these times of darkness that we can finally see the light.

If you read this, (all 3 of you, haha) please join us in praying for Tricia - wherever she is and whatever she is going through pray that God, our father, is watching over this precious woman. 

Pray for her family, that they would remain strong and courageous with each passing day that leaves everyone more perplexed than the last, pray that God would give them a sense of peace to calm the chaos. Pray, people. 

There is power in the name of Jesus. 

"When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there.” 

Matt 18:20 (MSG)

W O R T H Y

Happy Saturday boss-babe-risers!

I have an exciting update for you. . .

We have a gorgeous new co-host coming to this blogosphere!

To me, she is Mango, however she will have a chance to properly introduce herself! Haha.

We are so excited about this blog, this platform to step out of our comfort zones and write about the God-placed things on our hearts. 

Being a voice for young millennial women, being an encouragement for the broken, being more honest than you are used to in this politically correct world, being ready for wherever this adventure takes us,  being a support for those who struggle to love themselves. 

We get it. 

We struggle in our own ways too, society is constantly pushing ideas on us about what we "SHOULD" be/do/idolize, they jabber on about what their narrow minded ideas of beauty, happiness or success looks like.

Screw that.

We are all beautiful, happiness and success will look different to each of us. 

Today I want to talk about a company that I absolutely L.O.V.E.

The Giving Keys

Y'all, I love supporting small businesses, this company is no exception!

They employ people who are transitioning out of homelessness, how great is that?!

Maybe you've seen people wearing keys engraved with words like, "Breathe", "Let Go", "Purpose", "Brave", "Hope", ect.

Have you ever wondered about that?

I did. 

I mean, old keys. . . cool, intentional words. . . cool. . .but why?

When you order a key with whatever word you choose, it can be one of their 12 standard options or a custom word, it comes in a little cloth bag  and a card inscribed with:

"PAY IT FORWARD

Embrace your word. Then

pay it forward to a person you

feel needs the message 

more than 

you."

It took me a few months to choose the right word for me. 

I decided on a word that I struggle with, a word that makes me both blush and feel disconnected to. 

I chose:

w o r t h y

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't cringing right flippin now while writing this out, 

but feeling worthy is something that I struggle with. 

Especially in the department of love.

This is not a sob story, but it is an honest one.

I grew up without a dad. 

For all intents and purposes he might have been there, 

at least until I was 14 and then he wasn't, but he was never there. 

I hardened my heart to the idea of a dad, 

I told myself that dads weren't really important and I didn't need him anyway. 

Fast forward 10 years and the very broken little girl inside my 24 year old heart was wondering how in the H E double hockey sticks I had ended up in such an awful, loveless and abusive relationship. 

I'm not mad at my dad, sometimes people can't handle what life hands them, 

but I see now, all that I missed in not having a dad. 

Dad's are supposed to teach their daughters about their worth.

They are supposed to show them how a man should treat them, what they should look for in a spouse, show them that they are a daughter of the most high king and as such should be treated with love and respect.

Not having that as a kid, left me grasping for whatever love I could find and not knowing my worth meant that with my ex-husband, I settled for the mood swings, the name calling, the degrading insults, the fighting, the abuse and just accepted that as being what I deserved. 

- Perks of Being a Wallflower

Flash forward another there years, E V E R Y T H I N G  in my life is different which is both good & bad.

Good because, duh I'm not with someone who makes me wish I wasn't alive.

Bad because, where the heck do I go from here? 

Dating has been an interesting and mostly horrible adventure. 

So horrible in fact that I put myself on a dating fast. 

Most of that was because once again, even though I had risen to the challenge and taken myself out of a horrible marriage, I still had no idea what I was worth. 

I fell into some of the same patterns, I attracted some similar guys. 

Not in an abusive sense just in a sense that they didn't honor my worth any more than I did, maybe they didn't see their own worth either. I don't know, but it wasn't what I was looking for. I didn't want more messes to contend with, but that what I got.

I think part of the problem is that, so often, people confuse LOVE with CO-DEPENDENCE.

That's a whole other post, but I know for me I fed off of the affection and affirmation, 

however it was very difficult to go any deeper then that. 

I couldn't bare my soul, I couldn't fully be myself.

It's been so weird and so great getting know myself during the dating fast.

I am a very introspective person, when I finally put down all the social masks and knocked down most of the protective barriers, I kind of liked what was left.

So i'm learning, I deserve more.

I am worth more, 

I am worthy of healthy, soul baring, life doing, butterfly inducing, God-created, forever love.

I am worth higher standards. 

After all, I am royalty. . . and so are you.

So this word "worthy", i'm still working on it.

Theres head knowledge and theres heart knowledge, 

it hasn't made its way to my heart yet.

For now, I wear the key as a reminder.

SIDE NOTE: I started a new job two weeks ago, yesterday I wore the key necklace for the first time. Two of my co-workers asked me about it. One of them said that the whole thing sounded amazing and the other one looked at me and said "Alyssa, you're worthy" without even knowing my story! Which reminded me, it's just a story.

It's what happened to me, it is not who I am.

Okay ladies, I hope you have an amazing weekend! 

What word would you choose if you ordered a key?