Are you mad AT or mad FOR your Maker?

Do you want to hear something legitimately silly?

Sometimes, I get mad at God, like ball up your fists and 'pout or shout' about it mad. 

From His heavenly view, it must be hilarious to watch this freaking ant-sized girl full of sass and regret, stomping around trying to negotiate acts of faith for tangible wishes granted. 

Those of you who are enduring a season of waiting will recognize the exasperation of there not being a clear answer or end to the "whens" and "whys".  I heard one of those statistics the other day about how much of our lives we spend washing laundry, grocery shopping and on the toilet and I just started to wonder about other ways in which I, personally, am wasting my one trip around the sun. 

One obvious thing stuck out.

The shear amount of time I spend praying, wishing, dreaming, begging, picturing, writing, and thinking about how much I don't want to be alone anymore. About wishing that prince in shining armor would just ride up in his white mustang already. . . it's exhausting. I don't know if I've ever wanted anything as much as I want to be with that forever person. 

It hasn't been an easy journey to try and find him. 

Settle down RyGos. . .

So far I thought that I found "him" 5 times, my track record sucks but, I guess, Ryan Gosling was never really an option, haha.

Growing up I was pretty naive and pumped up on Nicholas Sparks novels, I thought life consisted of reaching a certain age, finding your person, getting married, having a family and then growing old while your brood doubled or tripled in size. I thought that was the whole point, I was sure that God had hand selected one person for each of us and the biggest challenge I would face would be figuring out which guy that I grew up with, would be at the end of the aisle. I never considered just how much could go wrong during that pursuit. I didn't entertain notions of divorce, waiting, infertility, long periods of singleness while everyone else you know seems to be drinking the engagement water or sending out birth announcements. I never knew how bitter I could be or that I would blame God for forgetting about me. But I did. 

Judge me if you must but, who else could possibly be to blame. . . ? 

Me? 

Don't be cray cray.

Many times I've repeated Jeremiah 29:11 to friends that needed encouragement along their own journeys, but the promise was lost on me because I couldn't see it in my present situation. 

Ladies, if you are waiting on that miracle man, baby or whatever else might be near/dear to your heart, it is not God's fault that we don't have what we think we need, desperately want, or feel we might deserve. We have to stop comparing our lives to those of the ones we envy on social media.

Let's not focus on what we don't have, lets take stock of the blessings we do have and look forward to what might someday be, with excitement - without robbing us of the here and now. 

Your life is not "paused" because you are waiting. There was/is a bend in your path to give you the opportunity to experience something that not all get the opportunity to. If you can not muster Queen-Bey-like contentment and confidence, if, instead you struggle with singleness like myself, use this time of un-distractedness to redirect your focus, be purposeful. Practice being happier than you feel and kinder than you're inclined to. Learn to love yourself. Thank God for this time to bind your heart to His before He places it in the hands of the man who is worthy of it. 

Trust me, settling is an awful, broken thing straight from hell.

Babes, I'm preaching to myself here too,  I want to be expectant of great things.

I want to be intentional with this time and not wish away my 20's, Lord knows they are flying by fast enough as is!

Daniel 3:18

Just know that when relatives or older people or sometimes even your peers, make comments that hurt and remind you of what you don't have. . .they haven't walked a mile in your bada** boots, they haven't lived through what you have. Things were different for them and God bless em, good for them! You are not "less" simply because you aren't in their position. You are enough and your life matters just as much. 

You aren't forgotten darling, 

He is holding you a little closer right now to prepare you for the blessings headed your way! 

Praise hand up, thats worth getting excited about!

Yeezy or Richy

My fellow ladyloves!

So here I am, staring at a blank screen questioning how in the world to start my first ever blog post. Part of me, as exciting as it is, has been avoiding it. There are so many things I want to share, but have yet to figure out how to put it into words. So here I am, staring at a now not-so-blank screen, writing to the beautiful and worthy babes (and maybe dudes) that are willing to read.

Allow me to introduce myself.

My name is Morgan but if you are rad enough, you might get to call me Mango. I like Chick-fil-A sauce, laying down on the beach (because who really enjoys long walks?) and Jesus (but not in that order). I grew up in sunny SoFlo with my one of a kind best friend who worked incredibly hard as a single working momma. I have recently embarked on this amazing journey of living on my own, starting a new job that has lead into furthering my education and building my future career. To say the least, it’s been a learning curve in so many ways. That’s just the skinny, but I’m sure we’ll find ways to divulge more things about me as this blog post goes on :)

Last night, I had dinner with a friend who took her sweet time to pour into me. I wish I could stress to you enough how beautiful it is to have a mentor in your life. She celebrates me in my big moments, encourages me in my down moments and ultimately reminds me of the Lord’s promises. Let me just say, last night’s conversations were not ordinary. We often speak on relationships because that seems to be the center of focus for me at this ripe old age of twenty-two (says Taylor Swift). She shared a quote with me that could not have slapped me harder in the face than a whiff of that freshly opened bottle of jalapeño salsa. Yes we were eating tacos. Are you ready? Here it is...

“You can so easily build a knight in shining armor out of a man made of straw.”

BOOM.

Let that sink in…

I look back on so many “relationships” in my past and think, how many men made of straw did I throw a little spray paint on and hand an armor and a sword and say “Yeah, that’s good enough”? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why don’t we realize that we are SO worthy of the man that God hand selected for us even if it means waiting longer than intended? Why don’t we understand that we are MORE than enough? We are daughters of the HIGHEST King. We deserve it. We are worthy. Many times our past comes back to haunt us whether it is seeing divorce as a child or going through one as an adult. Sometimes it's the lack of a parent while growing up, bullies throughout high school or some rotten boy who said you weren't good enough or said you were less than beautiful. Making poor decisions and allowing the guilt that the enemy throws at us can separate us from God as well. Yes, many of times those things impact us in the moment but God's plan is so much bigger than those past mistakes. 

"Let the ruins come to life
 in the beauty of Your Name
 rising up from the ashes
God forever You reign.
And my soul will find refuge
In the shadow of your wings
I will love you forever
And forever I'll sing."

So my rising-girls let this be a testimony to us. Do not settle for the man of straw especially if that scarecrow does not love you the way Jesus loves His bride. Choosing the scarecrow over the long awaited knight in shining armor is like picking Kanye over Rich Wilkerson Jr. If you don't know who either of them are, skip looking up Yeezy and go straight for Richy, but be prepared to swoon because yes he loves Jesus.
Ladies, hold out for your Wilkerson!!!

Hell NO…                          …Heaven YES


My friend/mentor shared a few titles for me to read as I go through this new stage in life. Now even though I’m not the best reader, I hope you are as encouraged as I am to read these along with me…

§  The New Rules of Sex, Love & Dating by Andy Stanley (Yes, Alyssa I will finish it!)

§  The Sacred Search by Gary Thomas

§  Boundaries in Dating, Safe People, Integrity & Never Go Back all by Henry Cloud

Until next time my ladyloves,

#PrayingForTricia

For someone who usually has so much to say, Tricia Todd's disappearance leaves me without much more than this.

This world has faced some pretty dark days, especially in the last year or so - or maybe I just finally noticed how broken we are, either way hashtags like #PrayforSyria, #PrayforParis,  #PrayforBrussels, #PrayforAmerica, etc are popping up everywhere and all the more frequently. 

Daily, I see missing persons or Amber alert posts being shared on social media, I saw it but it never affected me directly, so I didn't think much of it. 

All of those people are no less important than Tricia, but I grew up with her, I photographed her dancing with her daughter at a wedding last summer and have run into her around town. She is real. She is missing and because of her I will never look at another missing flyer, amber alert text or news report the same way. 

Bad things don't just happen to people who are in far off places, sometimes they happen in your own backyard to good people that you wish you knew better. 

My heart has been heavy for Tricia's family and especially her little girl since last week. 

I've been praying for her as often as I remember to, there was a beautiful gathering on Sunday with people from all over this community lifting up our voices, praying to the only One who knows where Tricia is right now. 

The candles burned out but the passion to bring her home has not wavered.

Last night I went to a worship service at church, I usually worship pretty freely (when i'm not worrying if my possible future hubby is staring me down, haha) but last night was different. 

I was singing but I was also praying and weeping; my thoughts were of Tricia because while we sang about God being our refuge and strength, I felt a sense of peace in knowing that He was keeping her in the shadow of His wings, protecting His child.

Only He can bring the ruins back to life, only He can protect her while Martin County is doing their best to find her. My heart is so sad but also so full, this community of people that have come together to search, support and to spread the word, have restored my faith in humanity.

We can take care of each other, we can come together for justice and do good things.

Its in these times of darkness that we can finally see the light.

If you read this, (all 3 of you, haha) please join us in praying for Tricia - wherever she is and whatever she is going through pray that God, our father, is watching over this precious woman. 

Pray for her family, that they would remain strong and courageous with each passing day that leaves everyone more perplexed than the last, pray that God would give them a sense of peace to calm the chaos. Pray, people. 

There is power in the name of Jesus. 

"When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there.” 

Matt 18:20 (MSG)