From Broken to Beautiful

Hello my queens! 

It is currently 11:18 PM, which is pretty late for me, as I type whatever it is that flows to my mind. I can't help but sit at a blank screen without even knowing where to begin. Life has become so incredibly busy I almost forgot how therapeutic it is to sit and write. I pray that the words that come to me are from the Lord and that they will impact the hearts of those who need to hear it. 

Let me start out by saying that I had no idea when I asked God this morning to break my heart for what breaks His that He would really hand it to me. My heart is broken from the stories I heard from some sweet friends and family today. From loss to anxiety, to sickness, to hurt, to uncertainty, to insecurity, to loneliness and to anger I am left feeling completely and utterly broken. After taking in these stories the most I can sit here and do is feel thankful for being in the midst of grace like an avalanche and pray. 

I pray for the friend that is in the midst of a health crisis, uncertain about what they will do as they expect God to work a miracle in their life. I pray for the friend that is dealing with family problems, and the hurt and burden that she is facing as she steps in and takes on a larger role than she should have to. I pray for the friend who just had to deal with a loss and is feeling lonely and angry. I also pray for the friend who is stuck in the midst of uncertainty about their life & insecure on starting a new beginning that could ultimately be life changing for them. Lastly, I pray for the friend that is allowing anxiety to consume her about her future because she is not happy with where she is currently at. 

I read and re-read these prayers and I begin to feel angry that all of these things could be going on to these sweet women in my life. I am reminded of where these feelings come from that they are not from God. God tells us that he is the Almighty Healer, the Great Connector, the Ultimate Comforter, the Prince of Peace and THE Way, Truth & Light. Notice that it doesn't say "A way…" but "THE way…" He wants to comfort us through the hard times and celebrate with us through the big wins. He has the plan already figured out, we just have to trust Him through the season in order to be launched into something greater. After all, storms make trees take deeper roots.

My prayer for you is that if you are reading this feeling any of these emotions or even something different, that you will stand firm on the rock that is higher than we are. You will know that you are the daughter of the highest King and you are not to be messed with! Also, I hope you learned that our morning car prayers should be taken very seriously and if we ask God to do something big that day he really will!

Continuing to pray and believe that the best is yet to come,

Our Best or God's Best?

"And everyday, let me be like a sunflower; so that even on the darkest days I will stand tall and find the sunlight."

Hey babe risers, it's been a while since I last chatted with you all. To catch you up, life has been filled with new things it's almost been hard to keep up. I finished esthetics school, got my license and officially started taking clients at the salon. I'm so grateful to make an impact on people not only physically with their skin but also their hearts. My career path as an esthetician is so much more than making someone who is 60 look like they're 20 (we wish). It's about conditioning the heart and soul, loving on others and making them feel undeniably beautiful to themselves. Since high school, I felt a tug on my heart to go into full time ministry. In my mind, that meant working for "the big C" aka: church. Throughout this past year I have patiently learned that your full time ministry is your life wherever you are, and you can bring that into your work place. I am fully handing this business over to God and asking him to stretch me everyday. I ask Him to give me opportunities to speak life into people and to give them a purpose so much greater than the things of the world they are seeking. I cannot wait to step deeper into this ministry and see all that God has in store.

I really want to speak to you tonight about something personal. Something that I feel I wouldn't normally shout to the world but I'm in a mood to be transparent so here it goes. 

R E J E C T I O N

"Rejection doesn't mean you aren't good enough; it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer."

We're all ladies here, so I am sure we've all felt those nights of rejection. Where you get dressed in that glorious outfit you've been waiting wear, hair is on point and your make-up is actually looking decent, only to arrive to find out you've been rejected. Rejection and abandonment has to stand high up there on the top 10 horrible feelings someone can feel.

Since leaving my job at Chick-fil-A the Lord put me on this crazy journey of finding and bettering myself every day. Part of that has been to overcome the rejection and abandonment issues that I felt from my biological dad not being a part of my life for the last 21 years. I believe that in the society that we live in today we deal with rejection on a daily basis, probably more than 100 times a day. You don't have to have abandonment in your life to say you suffer with rejection. We reject ourselves when we watch the Kardashians and see the ideal body society wants us to have, we reject ourselves when we post on Instagram and don't get as many likes as you did the day before, we feel rejected when our friend is having an off day and they don't send us their normal happy text. We feel rejection daily. 

So many emotions have been going on throughout my life recently and through my fellow boss babe risers lives. I hear stories and my heart just aches for what my sisters are going through. This very recent story (not to be shared for the secrecy of my girlfriend) made me reflect on myself on a-whole-nother level. I sat there and felt totally rejected because of thoughts the enemy placed into my mind. Things like, "you're really just not good enough for him", "you know, he's pursuing that other girl that he really likes spending time with" "maybe marriage just isn't in the books for you" or the best one yet "why would you even begin to think he would like someone like you?" So there I sat in my car, realizing it was a while back that I cried that hard, talking on the phone with a beautiful and sweet, sweet friend that told me it was okay to let it out and it hit me…I am NOT the one being rejected in this.

Let me explain myself a little better. I don't know about you but if I think for even one second that someone I like doesn't want to spend time with me or maybe isn't showing the same level of flirtation I count that as an immediate rejection. PAUSE. That's a lie. I had to stop and realize the reality, that I am making a conscious decision that at this moment he is not the right person for me. It's not rejection it's a decision. A decision to move on and be better. Focus on my path and my relationship with God and wait for the best He has to give me. Ladies that is what we will hold out for…God’s BEST. 

Let me send out a little reminder to you who may be hurting like I was tonight. Hurt, Pain, Anger, Temptation, Rejection and Abandonment all come from the enemy himself. He comes to steal, kill and destroy our lives while our God comes to bring us life and life to it's fullest. Whenever you think you're being rejected from something (we think is) good, remember that you could be redirected to something so much better. God makes beautiful things out of our mistakes. I am a living testimony to that.  Do not let the enemy feed you the thoughts and lies that you're not good enough. We are women warriors that will tell the enemy to put his nose in a corner because we are NOT having it today. We are holding out for God's best. If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value. Stand firm in knowing your worth in Christ. Trust and be obedient and all other things will fall into place.

“We are wild and free, we are never too much and we are ALWAYS enough.”

Thanks for allowing me to be open, honest and transparent with you. I pray that this post will help you realize your worth and all that you deserve. 

Until next time lady loves,

#PrayingForTricia

For someone who usually has so much to say, Tricia Todd's disappearance leaves me without much more than this.

This world has faced some pretty dark days, especially in the last year or so - or maybe I just finally noticed how broken we are, either way hashtags like #PrayforSyria, #PrayforParis,  #PrayforBrussels, #PrayforAmerica, etc are popping up everywhere and all the more frequently. 

Daily, I see missing persons or Amber alert posts being shared on social media, I saw it but it never affected me directly, so I didn't think much of it. 

All of those people are no less important than Tricia, but I grew up with her, I photographed her dancing with her daughter at a wedding last summer and have run into her around town. She is real. She is missing and because of her I will never look at another missing flyer, amber alert text or news report the same way. 

Bad things don't just happen to people who are in far off places, sometimes they happen in your own backyard to good people that you wish you knew better. 

My heart has been heavy for Tricia's family and especially her little girl since last week. 

I've been praying for her as often as I remember to, there was a beautiful gathering on Sunday with people from all over this community lifting up our voices, praying to the only One who knows where Tricia is right now. 

The candles burned out but the passion to bring her home has not wavered.

Last night I went to a worship service at church, I usually worship pretty freely (when i'm not worrying if my possible future hubby is staring me down, haha) but last night was different. 

I was singing but I was also praying and weeping; my thoughts were of Tricia because while we sang about God being our refuge and strength, I felt a sense of peace in knowing that He was keeping her in the shadow of His wings, protecting His child.

Only He can bring the ruins back to life, only He can protect her while Martin County is doing their best to find her. My heart is so sad but also so full, this community of people that have come together to search, support and to spread the word, have restored my faith in humanity.

We can take care of each other, we can come together for justice and do good things.

Its in these times of darkness that we can finally see the light.

If you read this, (all 3 of you, haha) please join us in praying for Tricia - wherever she is and whatever she is going through pray that God, our father, is watching over this precious woman. 

Pray for her family, that they would remain strong and courageous with each passing day that leaves everyone more perplexed than the last, pray that God would give them a sense of peace to calm the chaos. Pray, people. 

There is power in the name of Jesus. 

"When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there.” 

Matt 18:20 (MSG)